GW Bush League - Week 5 (Part 2)
First things first – big congratulations to Rob D on the conception of his second child. Robby D - you’ve experienced pain and suffering that none of us have and for that we tip our caps to you. Most people with kids start to ignore their fantasy football careers and friends, but not you. We appreciate you still fitting this league into your busy life. Maybe you’ll actually name this one Gabriel so we can end the running joke…….
LeveonStuffed Kens TacoBell: 3-1
Start Em: Let’s get-a started with TY Hilton. Hilton has definitely suffered with the lack of Andrew Luck and he’s had 3 weeks with 6.9 points or fewer. In Week 4 he had 4.5 points and it was fair to wonder if he was worth starting until Luck returned. Robby D stayed patient, made a good call and was rewarded with 23 points in Week 5. Hilton ran circles around the 49ers defensive backs on his way to 177 yards receiving. Kinda nuts he had 23 points without scoring a TD, but 177 yards is diesel. Nice call on this one Robby D.
Sit Em: I could go with Greg Zuerlein here (.5 points), but kickers are no fun. Instead I’ll go with Bilal Powell. Everyone expected Powell to have a big game – Forte was out and he had 34 points last week. He was also facing the Browns…Unfortunately for Robby D, Jets gonna Jet. Powell got hurt in this game and had just 5.7 fantasy points on 6 touches. Right when you think you can rely on a Jets player, the rug gets ripped out from under you.
JacksON Jacks-OFF: 1-3
Start Em: Michael Crabtree was coming off an injury and didn’t have Derek Carr. He also had a pretty tough matchup against a top 5 Raven’s defense. Kev decided to start him anyways and was rewarded with 17 fantasy points (6 catches 82 yards and a TD). Crabtree is clearly the Raiders #1 receiver and has pulled off some kind of Space Jam talent stealing voodoo on Amari Cooper (don’t even get me started on him). Kev should be able to rest easy starting him every week going forward, especially since Carr might be back in Week 6.
Patrick Ewing = Amari Cooper
Sit Em: There wasn’t much to pick from here, everyone on Kev’s team had 8 or more points (D/ST aside). Instead I’ll go with a good sit em – Alshon Jeffery. Despite the fact Jeffery was nearly a top 15 WR coming into Week 5, Kev made a great call by sitting him. You never want to start a #1 WR when he faces Patrick Peterson, but actually sitting your #1 receiver is tough to do. Kev had the balls to do it and was rewarded. Jeffery had his worst game of the season and scored just 4.6 points. (And somehow Carson Wentz still threw 4 fucking TDs).
JABAAL PAP SHMEARD: 2-2
Start Em: This is the lowest point total for a Start Em, but I’m gonna go with Kelvin Benjamin here. Through three weeks Kelvin was looking like a bust and had scored a grand total of 15.5 points. It had gotten so bad that Lamone sat him in Week 4 against the Patriots. That was a mistake, but it was the Pats D and everyone assumed it was an outlier (14 points). He had a tougher matchup this week against the #1 ranked Lions defense and a very good corner in Darius Slay. Lamone wasn’t deterred though, he started Kelvin and was rewarded. Benjamin had another 14 points this week on 60 yards receiving and a TD. If Cam Newton is really back, Kelvin might be a big factor going forward.
Sit Em: Gonna go with Randall Cobb and the measley 4.9 points he scored against the Cowboys. Cobb is really talented and is capable of putting up nice numbers, but he’s the 4th option in the Packers offense. It’s tough to put up consistent numbers when you’re behind Jordy, Davante Adams and whichever scrub RB they decide to use. Over the last two weeks he has just 17.3 combined points and 8 catches for 83 yards. If he hadn’t scored a TD last week he’d have just 11 points combined the last two. In a 10 man league with a deep waiver wire pool that’s just not worth starting.
“Jakey-Jakey” Big Mistakey: 1-3
Start Em: LeGarrette Blount has been a pleasant surprise for fantasy this year after signing with the Eagles. If you take the Week 2 play-calling disgrace out of his game-log, Blount is averaging 14 carries for 81 yards and 15.4 fantasy points per game. He’s the clear cut starter after injuries to Sproles/Smallwood and will have plenty of room to run with teams being forced to respect Carson Wentz. He’s looked powerful, decisive and every bit the RB who led the league in rushing TDs last year. All in all he’s in a good situation and should be a serviceable starting RB for fantasy.
Sit Em: I like the irony of the fact that Guy has both of these guys on his team, so let’s go with Mike Gillislee here. The Patriots RB has to be one of the most frustrating fantasy RBs this year. A frustrating Patriots RB? You don’t say…. After putting up 4 TDs and 42 combined points during the first two games, the former Buffalo Bill has scored 7.6 or fewer in every game since. Noone circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills! ……Oh yeah, he’s on the Pats. Anyways we all knew he was going to be somewhat touch-down dependent, but it’s frustrating nonetheless. Gillislee has failed to record a catch this year and is losing more and more work to James White and Dion Lewis. While his ceiling is very high, his low floor makes him a bye-week fill in or desperation play at best going forward.
Bonus – I believe it’s confirmed that Odell Beckham is out for the year with a broken ankle. This is a huge blow for Guy and you have to feel for him. Guy is now sitting at 1-4 and without his first round pick. I feel for you Guy, I really do.
THE STAR OF LARRY DAVID JOHNSON: 0-4
Start Em: Doug Martin is back!! The Bucs RB missed the first 4 weeks with a suspension/Hurricane, so people weren’t sure how he’d do his first game. He also had a short week of practice which complicated things. There were even reports that the Bucs would go with the “hot hand”, so Martin was a risky start. Frader made a smart decision this week and was rewarded with 17 fantasy points. Martin looked quick and it seems like he’s fully taken the #1 job back in Tampa. This will be huge for the RB needy Stars of David Johnson who are still reeling from the loss of their first round pick.
Sit Em: I’ll go with another good decision here – SIT Amari Cooper. This is honestly the most baffling thing I’ve ever seen in fantasy. The third year Raiders WR has been an absolute fucking piece of shit clown loser dumbass moron this year and is officially no longer startable. Over the past four weeks he has 8 catches for 56 yards and no TDs. In the past three weeks he’s recorded just 4 catches for 23 yards and 4.3 points. That is fucking pathetic. Allen Robinson was the biggest WR bust of 2016. His worst 3 week stretch was 6 catches for 63 yards and 9.3 fantasy points. DeAndre Hopkins was also a bust last year, but his worst three game stretch was 14 catches for 128 yards and 19.8 points. Both of those are better than what Cooper is doing. This is the worst stretch by a top WR in fantasy history.
Me to Amari Cooper
INTERVIEW: THE FOURNETTEUATE FEW: 1-3
1. In a sentence or two, how do you feel about your team?
My Team is being carried by breakout players like Ty Montgomery and Fournette. I need more out of my veterans like Matty Ice, Mark Ingram, and Dez if I have any shot at the championship
2. Now describe your team in 4 words or less.
Mediocre at best.
3. Leonard Fournette has been an absolute beast for you. Anything to say on that score?
Touches, touches, touches. Like he said, the NFL is really easy for him
4. What’s the biggest concern you have about your team?
My biggest concern is the WR play. Brown is great but my next best WR is Dez who by all accounts isn’t having a year worthy of his talent level. By the way - what the fuck is wrong with Eric Decker? He needs to dump that hoe Jessie James and get back on track...her music sucks - she’s no Carrie Underwood
(Editor's Note: Ken might be a willing trading partner for any WR rich teams.....)
5. Who do you think will win the league this year?
Keetz - and he’ll prob win it while he’s on a sailboat with no service.
6. You’re in a few other leagues, how are those going for you?
Only one other this year - I cut down from 4 and picked up fantasy basketball. I’m 4-1 and the commissioner of that league. Also have Leonard but just lost OBJ
7. Who do you think is the next league member to get engaged?
Keetz is sneaky one over there in Cali...a sleeper, but still my pick. I think hid girlfriend takes all of his Instagram pictures but he definitely comes up with the captions... see “seas the day” and “pour decisions”
(Editor’s Note: That’s 2 votes for Guy, 2 votes for Kev, 1 vote for Ken and 1 for Keetz. (Cumulative results)
8. Speaking of love, how’s the engaged life treating you?
Engaged life has definitely resulted in less free time. I have my friends weddings, her friends weddings, our wedding planning, an obligation to every family event (including 80 year old birthday parties), arguments with neighbors....the list goes on and on. All shit that Boston Ken would have no part of - he just wanted to chill under a blanket on the couch with a cig. I wouldn’t have it any other way though - I’ll be grey or bald by 35 (and hopefully still married). Can’t wait until the interview question in this league is "who gets divorced first?"....looking forward to Frader’s hot takes on those.
(Editor's Note: Feel you on that one Ken - my looks are rapidly declining and I need to marry Emma fast. Gonna look like jabba the hut in about 2 years)
9. Robby D just came up with some big news on the baby front. Who do you think the godfather will be this time?
Bob D is definitely going inside the family for this one. I’d say his bro or Jens younger brother. I’m still trying to figure out age appropriate gifts for Gabriel, but I’ll prob still buy the kid his first slingshot for his next birthday. He’s my test kid for when Sawyer and I have little Peabody’s. And yes, they’ll pop out soon after the wedding... but don’t know if I can top Bob D’s honeymoon conception for timing
10. Any final thoughts you would like to share with the league? The floor is yours…
I think I kinda worked in my thoughts above. I hope you all have my save the date in a prime refrigerator position. Oh, and about the draft. Could potentially do it at the hotel on 8/17/18 after my rehearsal dinner (only bob D gets to go to that one) which probably makes an 8 PM draft possible. The hotel is a 225 room conference center so we could potentially swing a room with a diesel projector. In the end, I also realize this would be the earliest in league history. Otherwise, I’ll prob have a fill-in person draft. Leaning towards Thailand for the honeymoon so WIFI might not be readily available.
(****EDITOR'S NOTE: For those of you who haven't heard or considered it yet - Ken's wedding date ass-fucked our draft planning for next year. Gonna have to do it early and watch someone get Jordy'd or Julian'd, or gonna have to do it the night before the NFL season kicks off if Ken is back for that. For the future - please do not plan weddings the last 2 weeks of August. I love you Ken, but you're killin me smalls.)
